Menifee Boy Meets the Woman Who Saved His Life

11-year-old Tristen Crouser let everyone around him in Berlin know why he was there. Photos courtesy of Monique Crouser

There are countless stories of people who got to thank the one who saved their life. When the time comes, words rarely suffice.

And so it was with the Crouser family of Menifee in late May when they traveled to Germany to meet for the first time a woman who saved their 11-year-old son's life from almost 6,000 miles away.

When we first wrote about Tristen Crouser, his family was trying to raise enough money for a trip to Berlin to meet 36-year-old Ines Borck -- a wife, mother and the woman whose bone marrow donation in early 2010 kept Tristen alive. Diagnosed with leukemia at age 2 and having spent more than 900 days in a hospital in his young life, Tristen wasn't expected to live to see Christmas 2009. What happened next might be considered a miracle.

First, Tristen improved enough to be eligible for a bone marrow transplant. The problem was, doctors felt he had only three weeks to receive one and finding a bone marrow match was going to be difficult. But then the name of Ines Borck was found in the database, and after she spent much of December 2009 giving painful bone marrow donations, the gift of life was sent across the ocean to a boy she had never met.

That, and a series of generous donations from local residents and support groups, led to a flight to Berlin and a face-to-face meeting none of them will ever forget. Though neither could speak the other's language, words were not needed.

"It was absolutely just nothing but tears," recalled Monique Crouser. "At that point, we didn't have to say a whole lot. We just instantly connected. We spent the whole time sightseeing with them, having dinner with them, getting to know them. It was better than sometimes the relationships you have with family."

The first meeting was delayed while representatives of DKMS, a worldwide support group for cancer victims, waited for local media to show up. Even in Berlin, it was a big story. Translators were on hand to assist with the communication.

"They kept her in one area and us in another area at a park downtown where we were supposed to meet for the first time," Monique said. "They didn't want us to meet until they had their newspapers and cameras there. But her son saw Tristen and (his brother) Kodee and he was all excited. They quickly pulled them away and we had to wait about a half an hour before we were allowed to meet.

"Then she came running and I went running and Tristen was saying, 'Why are you all crying?' "

It took a while for Tristen to warm up to a strange family in a strange place, but soon he was giving out hugs, playing with Ines' 10-year-old son Mert and learning about a new culture. They visited the Berlin Wall, toured a historic church that still shows signs of World War II bombing, and tasted a lot of German food.

"They took us to an authentic German restaurant," Monique said. "Tristen didn't like it too much."

Kodee, 13, had a different review of the German cuisine.

"I loved it," he said. "They eat cheese like crazy."

Monique, her husband Rick and the two boys say they had a great visit with Ines and her family, although Ines' husband's participation was limited. Doctors had removed half of his left kidney just three days before because of cancer.

The disease that touched both families is what ultimately brought them together.

"A lot of the time we just held hands, and they pushed Tristen in his wheelchair," Monique said about her son, who still requires medical attention on a regular basis but is often off and running when he feels stronger. Although Tristen wasn't too high on German food, he said, "Dunkin' Donuts there had the best smoothies."

Before the Crousers left Germany, Tristen posed for a picture with Ines while holding a symbol Americans recognize as the ampersand. To Germans, it has a much different meaning.

"To them, the upper loop means one person and the lower loop is another person, and together they are connected forever," Monique said.

Medical challenges remain for Tristen. He continues to have regular visits from a home nurse and goes weekly to City of Hope for treatments. This week, in fact, he was hospitalized for a few days when an infection set in.

But overall, the Crousers' miracle boy appears to have a great life ahead of him -- and a special new friend neither he nor his family will ever forget. The Borcks are even planning to come to the U.S. next summer and stay with the Crouser family.

"It was irreplaceable," Monique said of the experience. "There is nothing I could ever do to thank her. We write letters back and forth, and now Kodee is doing facetime chat with her son. We've developed a relationship with them that will never, ever change."

From left: Rick, Tristen, Monique and Kodee Crouser; Mert and Ines Borck.