What's Up, Doc? Life Lessons About Marriage

By Dr. Randall Freeman

The greatest learning experiences of my life was not graduating from high school or college. It wasn’t even earning my PhD a few years ago. My greatest learning experiences began on July 10, 1993, when I married my beautiful bride, Karen.

The latest (and perhaps greatest) learning experience has occurred over the past several months, when a gremlin hid my wedding ring. All I know is that one day it was on my finger, the next day it was not there. OK, they was a little bit more to it than that, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I knew that it could be only one of two places – either downstairs by my computer or upstairs in our bedroom. (I considered the possibility that it went down my sink, but that was too obvious). I began an extensive – and surreptitious – hunt for the missing wedding ring. I enlisted the aid of my loving wife and daughters in this search, right? Of course not. Admitting my ring was missing was a certain way of not living to our next anniversary.

Over the next weeks – then months – I carefully cleaned anywhere I thought I might figure where the nasty gremlin had hidden my ring. Absolutely no luck – but a very clean house (smile).

I could never admit defeat! I would never admit defeat! I would find that ring, slip it back on my finger and no one would be the wiser. Yeah, right.

I thought briefly about enlisting our daughters’ assistance (for a hefty sum, no doubt) but realized two things. They would tell Mom and I would surely die. So, I kept looking.

By now, you have figured (correctly) that I found the ring. (Otherwise, this column would be written by a real ghostwriter.) Last Friday, I decided to wear my orange Nikes for a special day at school (don't ask why I have orange Nikes.). I put the right shoe on and began on the left shoe. As I turned the shoe toward my foot, my wedding ring slipped out into my (left) hand! I calmly put the ring back on my finger and finished getting ready for school.

Husbands, there are a few life lessons from my recent experience. These lessons I share with you to assist you in remaining happily married and not going to an early grave:

1) Patience is a virtue;

2) Good things come to those who wait;

3) Clean your room without being asked; and

4) NEVER TAKE YOUR WEDDING RING OFF, EVEN FOR A MINUTE!

Randy Freeman and his family have lived in Menifee since 1993. Randy teaches kindergarten in Perris and his lovely wife Karen teaches first grade here in Menifee at Freedom Crest Elementary School. They are the proud parents of four beautiful daughters: Daniela, 18, and 14-year-old triplets Sarah, Holly, and Megan. Other family members include dogs Scruffy, Mikko, & Max, 17-year-old cat Hunter, and turtle Tuttles. Randy earned his PhD in early childhood education in 2011 and has served on the Menifee Union School Board since 2008. Randy has wisely decided to delete the bit about being Karen's boss in order to continue living in his happy home. His column will appear here every other Tuesday.