Menifee Mom: Those Stay-cations Never Really Work Out

By Karen Thomas

My family has chosen to spend the last few holidays at home. It always sounds like a great idea: We'll save money from not traveling, we can just relax and do our own thing, no long days in the car with frustrated children, no time spent packing up or putting away. In reality, though, staying home is no vacation for a mom!

I don't know how I fool myself into thinking otherwise. Every time school vacations roll around, I imagine slow, relaxing days. Instead, I am faced with even more work than before! Sure I don't have to wake up to an alarm, but without fail my brain wakes up at the same time anyway. That's when it starts.

The kids are hungry. I don't make big breakfasts on school days, so I want to treat my kids to something yummy. I cook up some pancakes and eggs, only to realize that the teens in our house have no intention of waking up any time soon and I'm stuck with a lot of leftovers and a heap of dishes to wash.

By the time the kitchen is back to normal, the teens emerge and want to eat. Shortly afterwards, the younger kids are hungry again and looking for some lunch. Understandably, the last thing they want is the same PBJ sandwich they often see in their lunch. So, it's time to cook again.

Thankfully, there is a bit of reprieve between lunch and dinner. That time gets filled with chores, laundry, shopping, or the holiday baking I still don't seem to have time for...and of course sibling squabbles that need to be resolved. Meanwhile, since the kids are all home and don't have homework, the toys get hauled out and the mess begins to build.

Before long, it's time for dinner and now not only is the house a mess, but everyone wants something grand; hey, it's the holidays! Thankfully, the kids don't have homework and it is much easier to get help with cooking and cleaning up. Still, by the time the day is over and I've "closed the kitchen," I'm worn out.

Most nights, it's the same story. We all head upstairs to get into cozy pajamas before enjoying family movie night. I'm so looking forward to crashing on the couch and snuggling my little one. But, as I walk into my bedroom, I see it staring back at me like a tiger in the night -- piles of laundry I didn't get folded in the midst of all the daily chaos.

So, I pack it up and haul it downstairs. I can still enjoy movie night while I fold the laundry, right?
I'm just finishing up when I realize something: I've got a family of capable people around me. They should be helping! I hate asking because they all work so hard during school and my husband works such long stressful hours. But, it is my vacation too. The next night, I do enlist some help.

Mix in there the soccer practices, haircuts, doctor appointments, and other activities that don't seem to go away even during school breaks, and the "stay-cation" I envisioned just doesn't really pan out.

Lesson learned: If you're the mom and you want a vacation, you are going to have to pack up and leave town for a while. (With or without the kids, LOL!) It might be a lot of work before you leave and after you get back, but it's the only way a mom can catch a break!

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.